MZA Headline Stolen by M!
Headline Stolen by M!
Seven weeks ago, a brazen thief stealthed into a tavern full of relaxing treasure hunters intent on stealing from the proprietor. A loud crash tipped off the crowd that something untoward had occurred. Kazola, owner of the famed Kazola’s Treetop Keg & Winery in Yew, turned to find the podium that displayed a ship model, given to Lady Silverbrook by the Dread Curly after Magincia’s waters were cleared, broken on the floor and the model missing.
Stuck by the audacity of the thief, the crowd slowly searched the tavern for the culprit. Unfortunately, all they discovered was a note stuck to the bulletin board reading: "Such nice friends you have, giving you mementos... Displayed so openly. Such an easy mark! -M."
The Yew Militia was informed of the theft, but no suspicious persons or clues were found. Patrolls of the area were increased somewhat to deter any future criminal activity.
‘M’, as the thief styled them-self, has gone on to steal from Lady Silverbrook on two occasions. The first theft involved the taking of a unique tome of zoology entitled "Rare Animals Vol. II", which had been given to Silverbrook by a 'Plane Walker' for her distinguished contributions to Sosaria.
As with the tavern theft, a note was tacked to the bulletin board in Silverbrook's home. It read: "Such interesting books you used to have. I'll have to shop here again, I like the discount. -M."
The first theft was followed two weeks later by a second break-in at the Silverbrook Estate. This time M snuck away with a priceless set of ancient Tokuno-made swords called "Noboru's Fury". As before, a note was left at the scene: "Were I working for the Mistress she would be most pleased. Now, the artifact is mine. - M."
Lady Silverbrook feels the notes left at M's crimes are of a taunting nature, designed to challenge the victims for some reason. This analysis seems likely. One also has to wonder who is this 'Mistress' of which M writes? A previous employer, or some sort of family figure?
The Magincia Trade Association likens the thefts to an unsolved string of burglaries that occurred in Felucca, before the exodus to Trammel. Those thefts involved high priced items taken from the homes of prominent citizens. However, several years after the thefts, the stolen goods reappeared in the property lockup of the local constabulary. No arrests were made.
Within the same week as Silverbrook's second theft, the city of Newcastle was rocked by the theft of a floppy hat owned by Ren the Conjuror which was on display following his memorial service. This callous theft left the Undermarshal, Lady Oona, "shocked and very upset," a sentiment echoed by the citizens of Newcastle and the Royal Knights of Redemption. As in the thefts before, a note was left at the scene of the crime: "A memorial for the dead? How touching! I'm sure Ren's relics will fetch a tidy sum... -M."
It is at this point that the thefts were forcefully brought to to the attention of the High Council during one of the weekly meetings. However, little in the way of an investigation took place.
This attitude changed abruptly, however, when the tunic and bandana of the Dragon Knight EdGuArDo were stolen from the Novus Daracona Museum of Culture & History in Compassion Grove. As per the pattern, a note was left on the bulletin board of the nearby Jerred Ghyss Civic Center: "Ah, memories. Such displays of sentimentality are for the weak and insecure. Knight is in check. -M."
The Chancellor of the High Council, Ra'Dian Fl'Gith, orderd Justicar Illidan to persure any and all leads on M with all due haste. The collective egg on the Council's face shone brightly in the candlelight.
The next theft took several days to come to light as Dot Warner, the victim, was reluctant to report the incident. M purloined a journal written by Lord DaKaren while he and Dot had journeyed through the Void for several years. Dot believed the journal had only been misplaced, until her assistant Morgain discovered a note on the bulletin board of their workshop. "What an interesting book. Such a droll fable.. Succumbed to a cider induced hallucination did we? -M."
Ms. Warner denies any cider binges, and the veracity of the journal was confirmed by Lord DaKaren; supported by Kazola's remembrance of their abrupt return, and odd means of transport. Apparently they had crafted a small tower out of blackmoor bricks, and then used power crystals to channel the ether into moonstones and blackrock to guide them back to Britannia.
M surfaced next at the Limerick Contest held by Lady Silverbrook at the Magincia Library and Museum, however, nothing was stolen. A book was discovered at the end of the event containing a rather long limerick:
"There was a young girl from Magincia,
who'd like to steal things from ya,
she cleaned up her act,
then her mentor turned her back,
to her old ways she slipped, ha!
She fell in with a villain,
not duped, she was will'n,
'round the facets she went,
which aided her descent,
she made quite a kill'n!
Many a bauble she hid in her sleeves,
through society her theft weaves,
then she stopped doin the bidd'n,
her Mistress found where she'd hidden,
and bound her in crystalline leaves.
For years she did sleep,
not a soul for her did weep,
the darkness she tried to suppress,
in crystal cracked under duress,
In did the King of Thieves sweep.
On the run from the law,
and a villainous maw,
her psyche did break,
and an evil did take,
she became not but a cat's paw."
The full meaning of the limerick is unknown; although, it does seem to indicate that 'M' is female, and possibly from Magincia. The mention of the 'King of Thieves' may be a reference to convicted traitor Ricardo, as he has been called such by his peers. Again, we also see reference to a 'Mistress' of some sort, apparently with the power to imprison people in crystal. The mentor mentioned in the first stanza is, unfortunately, also an unknown.
The last time anyone heard from M was during the Twenty Questions at Kazola's tavern when Lady Silverbrook "felt something brush against her." When she was ready to give the grand prize away, a copy of "Quotes from the pen of Wyrd Beastmaster", it was missing! After searching her pack, and Kazola's ample storage, she feared it stolen. Her fear was made manifest by the note Kazola found on the tavern bulletin board: "Here's a question: When is prize NOT a prize? When I've stolen it! -M."
Both women were visibly distressed due to their repeated victimization by M. Lady Silverbrook apologized to the contestants and vowed to award the grand prize when it is located. The assembled crowd was saddened by the theft, but was undeterred from participating in future events.
Will M continue to prey on the generous and well-known of our land? Can we ever express sentiment or display our keepsakes in safety again? When will M's reign of terror end?
Fortunately, an officer of the Royal Britannian Kilted Police, one Lilah Tyr'ettln, is investigating M's thefts. If you have any information regarding M please seek Lilah and I out for an interview.
Stay safe my fellow Britannians, and lock up your valuables!
Martyna Z'muir, BNN
Britain Post Office as Martyna Z’muir, BRT
Carrier Pigeon #484-154-744
Library of Sosaria: 72o 25'N
39o 22'W
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