Difference between revisions of "MZA Paragons of Fascism"

Latest revision as of 20:08, 22 June 2009

The King Pro-tempore, Lord Casca, recently enacted eight 'Virtue Laws' which twist and pervert the very foundations of Britannia. His extreme views assumed a new threatening aspect two days ago when this delightful missive escaped his addled brain and made it onto parchment...

"I have chosen several talented individuals to help implement my new Virtue edicts. I have given them great latitude and authority to help guide people to the Virtues. While we face uncertain times, I believe these paragons of morality will help lead us into a new age of prosperity and goodness. Thank you, good citizens, for your loyalty and hard work.
-Lord Casca"

Paragons! Of morality no less! Oh, rapturous day! The citizens of Britannia may now learn from wizened monks of the subtleties and wonders of the virtues!

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I forgot who the King was momentarily. This is not the act of a benevolent Lord British wanting to enlighten his kingdom... It is Casca, the two-faced power-mad despot with delusions of grandeur.

I took to the streets of Britain and tracked down these 'Paragons of Morality.' Eight in all, scattered about the city seemingly at random. I spoke to each one in turn, finding them most repetitive and wooden. That is, until you press the subject of their assigned roles and discover the dark truth of their twisted morals.

The butcher knife wielding Royal Interrogator stands like a thug in the Cat's Lair Tavern, ready to enforce Honesty on the people. "I question those who are rumored to be dishonest." he states blithely, "Most people are honest, so most rumors are true." I backed away slowly.

The Royal Benefactor loiters outside the Good Eats bakery ready to demand a donation to the poor. "Poverty is just another enemy, and fighting it demands stern measures." A noble sentiment, but what does she define as stern?

Outside the Cavalry Guard in east Britain stands the Royal Duel Referee, wielding a bloodstained sword and shield. "There is no Valor without risk of injury." He seems a tad too eager for a brawl, and claims he will supervise challenges.

The Royal Prosecutor, Paragon of Justice, paradoxically stands outside the gates of Blackthorn's Keep. When asked about how the edict will affect sentencing, he replied flippantly, "The guilty should have worried about their sentence before they broke the law."

The tellers at the First Bank of Britain cower behind the iron door from the orange clad Royal Tax Collector. He sees the added burden of higher taxes from a position only a tax collector could agree with, "If it isn't a burden, there is no sacrifice. Empty pockets, light hearts."

The staff at the Salty Dog Tavern had asked the Royal Investigator to leave the premises as he was disturbing their special clientele. His views on the matter of privacy are truly disturbed, "Privacy is a hiding place for the dishonorable."

Defiling the sacred Chamber of Virtue is the severe looking Royal Inquisitor. Her job is to monitor what people say, especially about the Virtues - and the heretics who dare espouse a non-approved viewpoint. "Freedom of speech, feh! Such freedom is a disease on society." She is one person I may want to use the Valor law to challenge...or simply knife in the back.

Lastly, the Royal Officer of Arms stands in front of The First Library of Britain. His job is to scour the heraldry records for lineage. "When people get uppity, our leaders and social betters can't do their jobs." Uppity, eh? He hasn't begun to see uppity...

Casca's moronic 'Paragons of Morality' are little more than fascist tools destined to oppress the populace. They do not belong in our society, they do not belong in our capitol city, and they sure as the Abyss do not promote Lord British's Virtues.

The High Council of Britannia will be addressing this issue tomorrow night (Monday) at 8pm CST in Compassion Grove south of Yew. (43o 18'E 88o 20'N) Fascist thugs need not attend.

Lady Martyna Z'muir, Library of Sosaria

Back to 2009 Martyna Z'muir Archives

Back to Martyna Z'muir Archives Main Page